Questioning Death

Today is my brother’s 8th year death anniversary. In remembrance of his life, his wife scheduled a mass near his grave site. It was surreal, 8am, and the day started off quite early for me. Having done my work prior to changing and heading for Greenhills Memorial Park in Bulua, Cagayan de Oro City, I quickly whipped breakfast for my children and took a cab.

Ever since my brother died, I have not been to his grave site. Having settled back here in CDO, I am now able to visit both my mother’s and brother’s grave sites at least on their death anniversaries and during All Soul’s Day. I found my relatives waiting under a tent with chairs and a table for the priest. We all hugged and kissed and I headed to my brother’s grave and said a short prayer.

I am not the kind who questions death. I believe that life on earth is fleeting and all of us will eventually face death one day. My brother died at the age of 44 and has lived a full life. Some would say it was too short, but his quality of life was good and he had fun and was loved deeply by people which I think why some of the relatives questioned God about his death. The whys remained unanswered and I for one never expected an answer.

To me what was important was the fact that he did not suffer long and while alot was surprised about his demise, I guess they have stopped worrying about the whys now, perhaps in exception to my father, who continues to bawl like a baby whenever Joemen’s name is uttered. Funny. Perhaps I will never understand his reaction, but I guess alot of it has to do with guilt.

BAH. So many questions on earth are left unanswered and there are simply some things that should be left as is.