Since I lost my mobile, I was pretty lost.  When the internet connection is bad at home, I log into Smart GPRS or Smart 3G connection in the city to check my email.  As you all know, I earn my living as a Webworker and I have alot of emails to monitor and sometimes, impatient clients wanted response pronto.  Not only that, living in a rural area where landline application takes a year for approval, I thought what the heck, lets go start checking out Globe and Smart for a postpaid plan since I did not want to spend a dime for another mobile and postpaid plans offer mobile phone discounts.

I started looking through the website of Smart and Globe, checking out the postpaid plans more closely.  Honestly, I have been a Globe subscriber for almost 10 years and only stopped being one when we moved aboard.  Anyway, so I started preparing the documents needed to go with the application.  2- IDs (so I took photocopies of my passport and US issued credit debit card; 1- Utility bill (so I prepared by Internet statement which is paid in advance); Proof of Income (photocopies of my payslips including certificate of employment signed by my clients);

Armed with all the requirements and confidence that since I am already a Globe Broadband subscriber and a former Globe Postpaid Subscriber, my application will be approved immediately. Boy was I so wrong…

1-  Globe said they will not accept my payslip because they were computer generated.  WTF.  So I patiently explained to them that I work online, and I receive my payment weekly through my US issued credit debit card.  So, I showed them my employment certificates including my payslips for the past three months.

2-  After looking at my Employment Certificates, they said they cannot accept that as well.  WTF!?  WTF!  So, I asked why?  The manager said my employers are foreign and there is no way they can confirm my employment.  Huh?  Are you guys blind?  That is why I have the payslips and the certificates, not to mention that my client’s contact numbers INCLUDING email are on the certificates.

3-  Trying to calm myself down, I showed them my debit credit card statements which I printed online and asked, “isn’t this sufficient?”  I earn more than $x-x a month!  Then the darn guy said, “Maám but we cannot verify this…”  WTF!  WTF!  Ofcourse you can, you can go online and get their customer support and you can confirm my statement from there!  Don’t you have VOIP?  Then he shook his head… WTF, a telecom giant… Globe does not provide Skype access to their managers?  I cannot believe it…

Glaring at them, I asked, so what else do I need to even be considered?

Then he said, I need your local bank statement.  Ok.  I told him, I have a BPI account but I did not have a paper statement as my account is an online account and I have opted out for monthly statements because the account is accessible online.  There you go, the manager said.  Just send me a certificate from your bank and we will process your application!

Then the problem, I live out of town.  Is it possible for my bank to fax the certificate to you guys? Then you can call and verify since the bank is in the area.  He said no.  Sh*t.

Then I realized I have a passbook account with BPI and I happen to carry the passbook in my bag, so I gladly showed it to him.  He said, ok, he will photocopy the thing, but I will still need an official bank certificate…

This time, I was running out of expletives and really pissed off but since I needed the mobile, I said, ok.  I will come back tomorrow with the certificates, so, how long will the process take and when will I get my phone?

So they asked me, what phone would you like?

Ok.  I am thinking of getting a Nokia?  Or a Blackberry.

Oh, the Blackberry is unavailable in Cagayan de Oro, we need to get one from Manila.

Ok.

How long?

A week or so.

Damn.  🙁

And how long will the application approval take?

One week or so as well, he said.

OMG

So when will I get my mobile and all?

By mid January.

HELL!

I told him.

Gimme back my papers… I am trying my luck with Smart!

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