In Memory of Joemen

…You may suffer bereavement, but life does not stop. It goes on…

Satyajit Ray (1921-1992), Indian Film Director, Deliverance.

It would be my brother’s 6th year death anniversary on the 25th. It has been awhile since I have thought of him, but death has been discussed recently and unlike some people I have become comfortable discussing death with my children.

Joemen, my brother died at the age of 42. He died from myocardial infarction (heart attack). We all never saw it coming. It came and took him while he was traveling to Manila for an official business meeting. Diabetes, hypertension and heart disease is nothing new to us. But Kuya was strong as an ox! He was robust and had problems with his cholesterol level and blood sugar. While traveling, the infarction came mildly. He experienced tightness in the chest, lightheadedness and headache. No one suspected mild infarction, but being with doctors, they suggested he go down to Makati Med Emergency Room for a check up and he died the next day. What made this day remarkable to me was the fact that I was there beside him when he died. Him dying and expiring never came to me, event then I remembered wondering why he was in the ICU for a routine check up. He called me at home and asked me to visit him. We picked up his wife in the airport then we went to see him at Makati Med. I think an hour or so during our visit, he died.

Right now, in this moment, I can still remember his face. How it lit up when he saw us. How his chest suddenly lifted off the bed then the machines beside him started to beep intermittently. The beeping was so loud and I remembered all the nurses rushing in and more machines were pushed in the room. We were ordered to leave the room, and my sister in law and I peered through the crack on the door, so scared to even think and consider the unthinkable. Forty-five minutes after, he was pronounced dead.

My oldest brother was my favorite. Somehow he knew what to give us for our birthdays, and during Christmas– bears, Mickey Mouse watches, numerous Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys series… Every weekend he would come around the house with his wife, his girl friend and he would drive us around his car and it would really make our day. He was my defender when our father was cross with me. He was our source of laughter as his sense of humor was fantastically clever.

Tomorrow, as his death anniversary comes, we will remember Kuya as a person so full of life. We will remember all the good things he has done for us. One thing is for sure he will always be remembered with a smile… I love you Kuya, wherever you are…

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